So, I don't even know where to begin. I guess the beginning is a good start. Derek and I like to plan. We are planners, that is who we are. We learned when he decided to go to medical school that plans are good, but be ready for change. Sometimes BIG change. You would think this would be an easy lesson to learn, but when you are planner, it is hard. Change isn't bad, actually I usually welcome it and find that it really becomes the best path. So, all this being said, we planned to have Elara when we did. I planned to be healthy, fit, and the most prepared for this pregnancy and birth than with my other 2. I started trying to eat healthy since September last year. I was getting my body ready for pregnancy and exercising and doing all things possible for a great pregnancy. I also decided I wanted to try and have a natural labor, (no epidural, no pain medicine). Derek has often asked me why I would choose this. Well, for me I am a fan of modern medicine. I love it, we are medical people, I want to be a nurse someday and my husband is going to be a doctor. I like that women can choose! For me, it was empowering to know that my body is capable to give birth to a child. I had dilated to a 7 with Kael before I got my epidural and with Eden I got an epidural before I really had any contractions. I felt like this is something my body can do and it is something that I can do. I have always wanted to try hard things. This would be something I could look back and say, I did something hard. I don't think any woman who gave birth naturally would look back and say, "that was easy". I wanted to do something for myself and something I could look back and say, ya I did that. I wouldn't do it for anyone else, I wouldn't do it to prove anything to anyone, to compare, whatever. This is for me and I started working hard for this before I got pregnant.
When I was about 6 weeks pregnant I had sharp pains and we didn't know what was going on. We got an ultrasound at 9 weeks after we got back from Disneyland. Everything was fine, this little girl just wanted to give us grief. We are pretty for certain it was ligament pain. Then, we all got sick. Being sick in the first trimester isn't a whole lot of fun... I have always had rather easy pregnancies and so far, this one was turning out to be really really hard. Things got better and in my second trimester once everything was getting better I decided to switch from an OB to a midwife. The midwife would be there with me from the moment I start labor until the end. What a great support right?. Well, we got our 20 week ultrasound and found out this baby is a girl. To say I was shocked was true. The kids and Derek called it. We also found out that the placenta was completely covering my cervix. We went back to the OB and midwife who both said not to worry that 90% of the time the placenta will move and everything will be fine. If the placenta doesn't move it is reason for a c-section. Everything seemed to be going ok. Heart burn did give me grief though. Ugh. Thankful for modern medicine (see I am pro medicine) this has been helped. Now here we are at 32 weeks and it is time for the follow up ultrasound. I have continued to prepare this whole time for my natural labor. What else is there to do? Worry? Yesterday was the scan. I had an awesome friend come with me so that Kael and Eden could come and see their little sister on "the big tv". They have been begging to see baby Elara on the tv since May! The tech was super nice. She got the baby's heart rate, checked the fluid levels, and confirmed again that Elara is still a girl. All positive things! Then, it came time to look at the placenta. It hadn't moved. It was still completely covering the cervix. Again, shock. She took lots of measurements. Then, she decided since I was so far along that she needed to do an internal ultrasound because they are more accurate. After everyone went to the bathroom, (we had a room full and I was grateful everyone was there!) we got ready. Again, no shift. It had moved some, but it was still over the cervix. To be able to not have a c-section the placenta has to be 2 cm away from the cervix opening... It was still covering it. The technician wanted to show the radiologist to confirm it and then I had to hurry to my midwife appointment. The midwife didn't want to worry about it until she saw the radiologist report. So, here we are playing the waiting game again... The technician said that most don't shift very much after 32 weeks. I was exactly 32 weeks yesterday... They will let me know how much is still covering the cervix hopefully today and then we can start planning what to do next. I'm scheduling an appointment with the OB I saw earlier in the pregnancy and hoping if I do need a c-section she can do it. It looks like again, plans have changed. I'm again sooooo grateful for modern medicine so that I can have a c-section and get my little girl here safe. It has been really hard to try and change my mind set that I won't have a natural labor. This is scary for me and a bit of a whirlwind. I already love this little girl so much and I will do anything to get her here safe! She looked beautiful on the ultrasound and I'm so glad I was able to see her again. The most major procedures I have had were my wisdom teeth taken out and the birth of my first 2 kids. For both I've never had any medicine stronger than ibuprofen and tylenol... I'm nervous for sure. For now, I'll just wait for the phone call to see what will happen next. I'm pretty for certain there will be one more ultrasound at 36 weeks just to be sure. I'm going to keep preparing my body for labor whether that ends up a c-section or whatever, at least physically I'll be ready... Here's to change, and although it's not what I expected, like all the other change that has happened in my life I'm going to be positive about it and know it is good.
So, enjoy a picture by Kael and compare it to when I was pregnant with Eden. She's in both pictures with me and I love having that little girl with me. :)
32 weeks pregnant with Elara
31 weeks pregnant with Eden
Also, my latest creation for baby girl. I just hope it isn't too huge on Elara's little head. :)
